Wednesday, 24 February 2010

My search for the best football video: 1. "The Infection"

I am going to seek out the best football compilations; for the game, a team or for a player, along with football adverts or any other video about football and post one here each week.

The first is the winner of a "soccer clips" competition in 2009 and is made by someone known as "RHD". It's breathtaking, have a look:



After a brief intro it begins with the soundtrack to the 1997 Sky Sports advert with Sean Bean, If there's anything closer to poetry in football, I'm yet to find it. Call me a philistine, but the words spoken by Sean Bean in that advert sound better to me than those of any acclaimed poet; Wilfred Owen, Robert Burns, Siegfried Sassoon and William Shakespeare have nothing on the words spoken in that advert and at the start of this video.

The music then moves into some piano track that becomes faster and adds a dance beat before sounding a little like metal. Its a bit intense - a bit over emotional - but that seems to be why the video is trying to do so it works. Its definitely far better than the Cascada-esque soundtracks that plague youtube's collection of football compilations. Finally, the third stage of the soundtrack uses the famous speech from the 1976 film "Network", excellently delivered by Peter Finch. RHD mixes this, again, with piano music which becomes more aggressive sounding until its some form of piano-metal. The soundtrack may be excellent, but I can't help feeling that the best of it is borrowed. The first part is exactly the same as the Sky advert it was taken from and the last part centres around a speech stolen from a film. Nonetheless, it works and the images and video clips have been carefully selected to both match the content and rhythm of the soundtrack.

Visually, the video takes us through countless clips of celebrating, scoring and collapsing in despair. It shows us most of footballs famous faces, and we see brief glimpses of memorable scenes such as Drogba's post match hissy-fit against Barcelona in last season Champion's League and Vladimir Smicer's goal in Istanbul. Many of the clips, however, are indecipherable. The visual effect and speed of flickering images means that all one sees is Ronaldinho's face - someones foot - Christiano Ronaldo - ball - cheering fans - ball hitting net. It may be visually interesting, but the occasions where you can tell what you're watching are rare. On one occasion a quote is seen but I'm yet to meet anyone capable of reading it without pausing. Incidentally, it is George Boateng: "His tricks annoy people. One day someone will hurt Christiano". Yup - that piece of wisdom was really worth pausing for!

Single words flash up on the screen equally quickly, often stating an emotion associated with football. Towards the end of the piece they string together sentences complaining about the greed in football:
"As we use all of our money for the teams and players we support and love, over and over again they betray you in hope of more money for the ugly, for the new power in the beautiful game"
The images then shows players who have left their clubs for the big money move: Owen, Ronaldo, Alonso, Beckham and Kaka. As the feel of the video gets more angry the words on the screen ask "what the fuck?" before suggesting that we have all become infected. Deep, eh?

That's what makes this video so good, It may have lots of stylised clips and a cool soundtrack but its rare to find such a well put together message on a football video. A more common message would be "I like Rooney". It emotionally charges the viewer by reminding them how much football means to them at the beginning then rips this up by exposing the darker sides to the game.

Friday, 19 February 2010

So this is what the Europa League feels like...

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It is quite some time since Liverpool last occupied that spot on Thursdays on Channel 5 - last appearing in the Uefa Cup in a a defeat to Marseilles under the guidance of Gerard Houllier in March 2004. Both Liverpool and the competition have changed since then; Liverpool have developed into one of Europe's footballing powers again and The Uefa cup has been rebranded as the Europa League.

Nonetheless, last night Unirea Urziceni visited Anfield for has to be the dullest game played there in recent times. The only argument to contradict this is that there was no football played - Unirea tried to avoid playing football at Anfield (presumably with the intention of hitting Liverpool on the return leg) and the unimaginative Liverpool seemed happy to go along with Unirea's plans. For most of the game Liverpool had possession 20 to 30 yards from the Unirea goal and would pass from the centre to the left wing, back to the centre, then to the right before returning it to the centre and then the left. Occasionally one of the more ambitious players, usually Aurelio, would shoot at goal, only to hit one of the 11 Unirea players camped in their box.

There were some chances. Gerrard forced an excellent save from Giedrius Arlauskis in the fist minute after being played in by Kuyt. Stevie G again went close in the second half when he almost provided us with a vintage Gerrard moment: taking the ball on his chest before flicking it round the defender and hitting it on the half volley. Had it been a foot to the right we would have been talking about it for years to come.

It was a combination of substitutes who finally created the games only goal. Ryan Babel, on for the ineffective Riera, lofted a high cross to the back post where the 19 year old Dani Pacheco, on for Alberto Aquilani, nodded back across goal for David N'gog to finish - heading in from two yards. The clear positive being Dani Pacheco, on only his third appearence, getting an assist and looking good. The young Spaniard moved to Liverpool from Barca in 2007 and has impressed in the reserves. When you see Pacheco one of the most obvious things is that he is only 5 ft 6, so it will have been a relief to Liverpool fans that he was able to demonstrate is aerial ability last night. He is certainly one to watch for the future. Another Positive from the goal may be Ryan Babel's involvement, but Alas it was his only positive contribution and was an over hit cross that was more rescued than utilised by Pacheco. Babel was not significantly worse than the rest of the Liverpool team, but did provoke the quote of the evening heard in the pub: "He can't even dive properly!".

The other thing that must be mentioned on this blog's first words on the Europa League, is the bizarre sight of seeing man in a tracksuit wandering around on the pitch between the edge of the box and the corner flag. This was one of the the new extra officials Uefa is experimenting with at either end. I'm not quite sure what they actually do and it seems that neither are they, but perhaps I've just not seen the sort of incident that they will help with. They do look odd. Wearing tracksuits when the referee, the linesmen and even the fourth official wear shorts makes them look a little like someone warming up, and their positioning seems unsure and needless. When are they supposed to venture onto the pitch and why? Perhaps in five years time all of this will seem normal. Perhaps.

So, Liverpool labour over a 1-0 victory at home to Unirea while Fulham overcome Shakhtar Donetsk, but I leave you with something else from the Europa League. Remember Jose Antonio Reyes, used to play at Arsenal? well he produced something special last night! What a hit, son! who said the Europa League was a second rate competition.

Wednesday, 17 February 2010

Never mind Prettyboy Beckham, It’s all about the ugly lads!

From the moment the draw was made, all the talk around the AC Milan and Manchester Utd was Beckham facing his former club, but with few exceptions, he was anonymous. The match was not won, as a fairytale might have had it, by a vintage Beckham free kick, it was won by the latest in a long line of Manchester United Talismen – Wayne Rooney. Instead of seeing media savvy, wannabe model Beckham this morning, the back pages are dominated by a gurning Rooney and rightly So. Two goals, an involvement in everything that was good about the English side and an all round inspired performance made Rooney the difference between the sides.

His first goal was a lovely header at the back post, using his strength to beat Daniele Bonera to the ball and looping his header across the face of goal and into the far corner; his second used all round good play – controlling the long ball and laying it off to Fletcher before running into the box and heading into the goal – simple and elegant.

His form is fantastic and has come at the right time for England to have a serious go at the World Cup in South Africa, but it was another unsightly player who impressed me the most. Ronaldinho looks better every time I see him at the moment. During his fall from grace he stopped trying his audacious tricks and seemed to enjoy the game less. He’s now looking a lot more like the ‘Dinho we all remember from 4-5 years ago. I’m sure everybody remembers his performance against England in Korea in 2002, where he chipped Seaman from a free kick to score the winner. What struck me in that game was his constant grin – as though he had just invented teeth – even while being sent off. Yes, I know people will joke that he couldn’t fit his grotesque teeth into his mouth, but he certainly found a way to hide them and look miserable in his final season at Barca. Last night that distinctive grin showed signs of return as he showed us some of his special touches with his front teeth hanging out. A nice back heel, getting through two challenges to get a shot on goal complimented an array of exquisite passes. He may not have been a match winner like Rooney but his goal and assist keep Milan in touch ahead of the second leg.

There were still some noticeable holes in Ronaldinho, firstly his Dick Van Dyke style goal celebration was just rubbish. There was an occasion where he received the ball on the left wing and dribbles in front of the defence to the right wing where he lost the ball despite having numerous options along the way. He was derided by Andy Gray later on for losing the ball and making little effort to win it back, but the point is that he is an attacking option – a gamble. Even when he was considered to be the world’s best he wouldn’t’ track back very well. If you’re worried about the defensive side of his game you could play a no-nonsense hard tackling Midfielder alongside him – Milan have Gatusso and Brazil have Lucas (perhaps I’ve finally found a use for him). On some of his efforts he might have done better, one effort was right at Van der Sar and he comically miscued an overhead kick. Perhaps in time he will regain consistency in his tricks and flicks and every shot will be lethal again, but in the mean time he may as well continue to try the spectacular – we all know he’s capable of it and it’s great to watch. Dunga is a fool if he leaves him out of his world cup plans.

A nod must be given to another couple of funny looking buggers – the others goal scorers: Paul Scholes and Clarence Seedorf. Scholes’s equaliser was an interesting one – swung his right foot at the ball only to miss completely and have it hit his left leg and roll in at the bottom corner. Very lucky. Any other player would have celebrated with a hint of embarrassment, perhaps a bit like one might celebrate an own goal, but Paul Scholes wheels round and celebrates as is he’s scored a 40 yard screamer. Is he trying to con us into thinking that was deliberate? No chance ginger nuts.

Seedorf's goal was a clever little backheel flick from Ronniedinho’s pass – a little annoying because a few minutes before when he came on as a substitute I announced to my friend that Seedorf was overrated and shouldn’t have as many trophies to his name as he does. So up he pops and scores, plays a few good passes and shows us some skills – maybe he heard me.

So to sum up: great match, Rooney and Ronaldinho are both unsightly but talented, Scholes and Seedorf are bastards, and I can only hope that Arsenal Vs Porto tonight is as good.

Monday, 15 February 2010

99 pieces of hatred

As much as I love football:
1. I hate Manchester United
2. I hate Gary Neville
3. I hate Gary Neville’s face
4. I hate Phil Neville
5. I even hate the name Neville
6. I hate frank Lampard
7. I hate his face
8. I hate Christiano Ronaldo and I hate that he is talented
9. I hate Alex Fergusson and his chewing gum
10. I hate the fact that he has a KBE when Bob Paisley and Brian Clough
11. I hate the fact that Jimmy Bullard will never be the player I think he is
12. I hate Joey Barton
13. I hate Sepp Blatter and enjoy watching the YouTube clip of him falling over - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mu7i5CJq3mg
14. I hate David James’s haircuts even on the rare occasion that he tries a normal one
15. I hate when a Liverpool player dives
16. I hate losing
17. I hate that I support a team that ought to win
18. I hate Ryan gigs and that he won sports personality of the year
19. I hate Nicklas Bendtner
20. I hate Andrei Voronin
21. I hate Blackburn rovers
22. I hate that Blackburn rovers have won the premier league
23. I hate the way the badge on a football shirt rubs against my nipple
24. I hate Chelsea
25. I hate watching Traore’s own goals
26. I hate that Manchester united seem to have another generation of superstars coming through
27. I hate that Wenger’s “brilliant with youth” reputation
28. I hate seeing countless “next big things” come through the Liverpool ranks only to end up at Preston North End
29. I hate the name “Europa league”
30. I hate that I actually quite like Jose Morinho
31. I hate that it was only after he had left Chelsea that I was ready to admit this
32. I hate Real Madrid’s transfer policy
33. I hate Adebayor
34. I hate Tim Cahill
35. I hate it when he scores
36. I hate that Scotland are shit and that Craig Levein is the manager
37. I hate that I’m rubbish at football
38. I hate watching Alan Shearer on MOTD
39. I hate Rio Ferdinand and all his family
40. I hate Jamie Redknapp’s suits
41. I hate Harry Redknapp’s floppy face
42. I hate Cheryl Cole’s husband
43. I hate that Man city are 4th
44. I hate Cesc Fabregas
45. I hate Graham poll
46. I hate Jeff Winters
47. I hate Frances Jeffers but I can’t remember why
48. I hate Sam Allardyce
49. I hate that Owen Coyle moved to Bolton
50. I hate Man utd fans
51. I hate people who don’t watch football but still claim to be a man utd fan
52. I hate that despite all my Predictions, Darren Fletcher is successful
53. I hate Paul Scholes
54. I hate Kenny Miller and that he might actually be the best Scotland have
55. I hate having to support David N’gog
56. I hate that John Arne Riise left Liverpool
57. I hate when couch potatoes accuse players of being girls after having a set of studs dragged down their shin
58. I hate that rugby gets a reputation for being the more acceptable and gentlemanly sport
59. I hate seeing fat Newcastle fans topless
60. I hate Caroline cheese’s voice
61. I hate hearing the same crap every season and before every major tournament
62. I hate how much footballers get paid and I hate that I feel the need to defend these salaries – “keepers have been complaining about the way the ball moves through the air”
63. I hate Danny Dyer and that he’s associated with football
64. I hate people who associate Zidane with his headbutt more than his genius
65. I hate Marco Materazzi
66. I hate that so many people developed an unexplained liking for Italy before major tournaments
67. I hate that I understand Italian football so little
68. I hate the commentary on Fifa
69. I hate club owners that aren’t football fans
70. I hate being asked the score or who is playing when watch football on tv
71. I hate the debt that football clubs put themselves in
72. I hate the way that players show such little loyalty to fans that devote everything to the players
73. I hate Graeme Souness and his nack for ruining good clubs and enjoying moderate success at scummy clubs. He also irritates me in his far too regular tv appearences.
74. I hate Diouf and do not need to explain why
75. I hate the fact that I have a signed photo of Diouf
76. I hate Steve McClaren and his put on Dutch accent
77. I hate the nickname “The Red Devils”
78. I hate the music accompanying football compilations on YouTube
79. I hate Adrian Chiles’s new beard
80. I hate International breaks
81. I hate it when players get injured playing for their country (usually Torres)
82. I hate that I can’t listen to Jonathan Pearce commentary without thinking I’m watching robot wars.
83. I hate that after watching him for years people still feel the need to say that Peter Crouch is “good with his feet for a big lad”
84. I hate Michael Owen – the standard traitor
85. I hate how underrated Heskey is
86. I hate seeing a happy Man utd fan
87. I hate when people go on about Beckham’s goal against Wimbledon in ’96 – I can think of so many better long range efforts
88. I hate the fact that some people still think it’s worth taking Michael Owen to the world cup despite him being shit, old, not playing any football, and (most importantly) a massive prick
89. I hate that every time Robbie Keane moves to a new club it turns out that this was the club he supported as a boy
90. I hate FA cup weekend when it turns out I don’t really care about any of the results
91. I hate that I watch matches hoping for injuries and red cards
92. I hate that I still sometimes laugh at Danny Shittu’s name
93. I hate that sometimes I don’t laugh and Danny shittu’s name
94. I hate that nobody seems to realise how ridiculously expensive the Spurs squad is
95. I hate hearing people argue over who is better between Maradona and Pele based on a handful of video clips because they’ve never seen them play
96. I hate that FIFA has a French name
97. I hate that you need to be French or North African to be “the next Zidane” and you need to be black to be “The new Makalele”
98. I hate the fact that despite my intentions of keeping this blog impartial, it is now blindingly obvious that I’m a Liverpool fan
99. I hate the fact that I’ve just written so many bad things about the game I love



All that and I actually quite like Craig Bellamy

Friday, 5 February 2010

Why Capello was right to remove Terry

Many Media critics have posed the question "Why should we care about John Terry's affair?". They have good reason - he's a fantastic footballer who can perform regardless of what he does in the bedroom. Now this argument would stand firm for a player like Joey Barton - he has already lost all credibility as a role model, does not hold a position of authority and has no responsibility beyond the football pitch. John Terry however, is captain of his club and country. He is supposed to lead the players and should therefore command respect from the England team and have a good relationship with all of them.

Terry holds the position coveted by schoolboys across the country: captain of the national football team. Terry's behaviour will always be taken as an example, that is the price of being England captain. It is also a job that the media, beyond the back pages, follow closely. Therefore as a football fan it pains me to see the ultimate game further its playboy image, while rugby continues with its (perhaps unjust) gentlemanly reputation. The general attention on Terry is a reason why it is particularly damaging for him to court bad publicity, but it is not why he was fired.

JT, as his team mates call him, has not just cheated on his wife, that would be a family matter. What he has done is a family matter too, but it is also a footballing manager. He has caused irreversible damage to his dressing room reputation. The obvious point is that he has created a rift between himself and fellow England Defender, Wayne Bridge. Will he still play with Terry? Probably, but he is likely to have less respect for him, both damaging Terry's position a captain and the workings of the back four. I've heard it suggested that if Bridge has a problem with Terry, he should be left out of the England team. Sad as it is, he's far less valuable than Terry and Ashley Cole is the first choice left back, with Leighton Baines also in the running. Terry's damaged relationship with Bridge, although a factor, is still not the main reason why Terry has rendered himself an unsuitable captain.

Bridge is more to Terry than a team mate, he is regarded as one of Terry's best friends in the game. If Terry will do that to Wayne Bridge, why should any of the England players trust him. He will not have the same position in the dressing room which may be cold towards him, showing less trust less respect and less willingness to cooperate with him. If any players, most likely the Man city contingent - Lescott, Barry, Richards and Wright-Phillips, choose to take Bridge's side, he may experience difficult relationships with them and they are likely to spread this discontent. It is often said of managers that if the lose the dressing room they must leave, I think it is also true of a captain. To be a leader of men you must be an honourable man. Terry is not. It is for these reasons that he in unfit to captain his country and by punishing him , Capello may be able to stifle the displeasure of the remainder of the squad and allow them to feel justice to be done.

Terry's replacement? Ferdinand has progressed from Vice captain to captain, and third in command Gerrard is now vice captain. Personally I would prefer to see Gerrard in the role - his appointment as Liverpool captain was followed by a massive raise in him game- but I'm fairly Happy with Ferdinand. I believe that the captain should be the player in best position to lead the team rather than the best player(Rooney would be a terrible captain - great player but likes a tantrum).

So there it is. Rio Ferdinand will be the man to lead England out against the USA in June? But can he lift the Trophy in Johannesburg?